


Homemade Dynamite

by CloverIsAGayGoblin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bets, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Coming Out, Consent is key, Explicit Consent, F/M, Feminist Themes, Fuck J.K. Rowling, Gay Sirius Black, Gen, James is a Dork, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Non-Explicit Sex, Other, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Period-Typical Transphobia, Peter is kinda an asshole, Remus is a feminist, Sirius Black is a Little Shit, Trans Character, Trans rights, also james potter is a himbo, shes a hoe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28819194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloverIsAGayGoblin/pseuds/CloverIsAGayGoblin
Summary: Hogwarts, the school of witchcraft and wizardry, was also the school of horny gay teenagers that have trouble expressing their emotions.Remus is left jealous after James and Peter bet that Sirius couldn't woo the scariest girl in school, Iris. Although, it turns out he isn't the only one with an unrequited crush.But what they don't know, is that these crushes aren't as hopeless as they thought.Writers Note: As a trans person, I do not support any of Rowling's disgusting veiws.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Original Female Character(s)/Original Non-Binary Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Difficult Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first ever fanfic, so please be gentle! This fic just kinda happen, like one day I sat down and it poured out of me. 
> 
> Let me know if you like it! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated ;)
> 
> I'd also like to thank my friend Lizardryan42 for beta reading, thanks for dealing with my dumbassary.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders talk about girls.
> 
> tw: slight misogyny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks in advance for reading! I'm really excited to get attention for once! hahaha social anxiety said no also this chapter is really short sorry about that

Hogwarts, the school of witchcraft and wizardry, was also the school of horny gay teenagers that have trouble expressing their emotions.

On this particular morning in the Great Hall, The Marauders seemed more horny than usual.

Remus was gawking at Sirius in his black leather jacket. He knew he shouldn't but he was just too goddamn hot. He used to repress his crush on Sirius, and his liking for boys in general. He gave up on that after that fight he got into with that Rosier kid from Slytherin.

_God, he looked so hot._

He knew Sirius would never like him back even if he liked boys. Which, he obviously didn't, considering that right now Sirius, James and Peter were planning which girl Sirius would try and seduce next.

They had been playing this disgusting game for a few months now. It began one day when Sirius teased James about his pining for Lily, saying it will never result in anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ _Well what about you, padfoot?_ ” James had shouted to Sirius from across the dorm room, “ _Have you ever tried to get a difficult woman to date you?_ ”

“ _'_ _Difficult woman’? What the hell Prongs? She isn't some wild horse you need to tame._ ” Remus was often disappointed with his friend’s ignorant misogyny.

“ _That's not what I meant!_ ” James pleaded, “ _I’m just saying, Sirius has no place to speak on this matter._ ”

“ _How bout a bet then, Prongsie?_ ” Sirius piped up. “ _You find me a ’difficult woman’ and if I sleep with her, you owe me 5 galleons._ ”

James' eyes lit up. He always loved a bet. Before Remus could object, James set the offer in stone:

“ _You're on!_ ”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In true Marauders fashion, if you accept a bet, you have to go through with it, or face the consequences.

Although, after the initial bet, it had become a game for the two. James was desperate to find a woman that Sirius couldn't charm. Sirius had no problem at all with manipulating these girls, much to Remus’ dismay.

It wasn't because he was _jealous_ or anything, no. Never. He just thought it was a disgusting way to treat people. He hated the way they would bet on women like they were race horses. Which, of course, he did believe. And he definitely didn't have any other problems with this vile display of Sirius’ heterosexuality.

“What about that Hufflepuff girl, Claire?” Sirius asked.

“She's not at all difficult.” Wormtail responded.

“Yes she is! She never dates anyone!”

“She's not difficult, she’s just oblivious to any guy flirting with her.”

“I wonder why that is.” James inquired out loud.

“Because she's a lesbian.” Remus deadpanned. His friends all laughed, but it was only a half joke. He swears he caught her staring at Mary MacDonald in transfig.

Just then the hall erupted in murmurs and the air felt a thousand times as heavy as before. They heard the stomp of platform stilettos before they were seen. Everyone could feel the tension in the room. First year's and Seventh year's alike all feared what was to come. Because everyone knew the wrath of _her_.

Iris Herreninki.

Everyone feared her, nobody liked her, but all for different reasons. She genuinely scared all of the toughest people in the school. It didn't help that she was a Slytherin, but even they didn't like her. They, in fact, hated her. Iris was muggle born. So she didn't have any of the bigoted ideas (she made that very clear), but she was mean as the rest of them. It was common to see her fighting with anyone. She takes whatever she wants from whoever she has to. You're pissing her off? Be ready with some blocking spells.

It seemed like everything she did was to either scare or piss someone off. Her entire head of hair from the roots to the ends is a bright, vibrant purple color. Dyed the muggle way and maintained it with magic. On days without classes, she would get detention after detention for wearing the most outlandish and revealing outfits. Her makeup was always as colorful and as intense as possible.

She was currently strutting down the hall to the Slytherin table. Just for good measure, she steals an apple from some Slytherin boy. As soon as she sat down everyone within a meter of her got up and moved. She put her feet up on the Ravenclaw table across from her as she took a bite of the stolen apple.

“What about her?” James breaks the silence within the Marauders.

“ _Her_?” Sirius was mortified at the thought. “Herreniniki? She would kill me!”

“What makes you say that?” Remus asks, smugly.

“She- She's not-”

“Sounds to me like you're afraid of her.” Peter teased.

“Well who wouldn’t be! She’s terrifying! I heard she summons poltergeists in the girls bathroom for fun!”

“You still haven't answered my question.” Remus interrupted Sirius’ paranoia. “Why would Iris personally hate you? Have the two of you ever even spoken?”

“No…but she-” He stopped himself.

James finished Padfoot’s sentence for him. “Because she is a difficult woman.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey ignorant misogyny is kinda stupid
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Comments and Kudos are pog. 
> 
> Stick around theres more to come ;) (I'm so excited for y'all to get to know Iris)
> 
> Love y'all - Clover


	2. Rejected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris meets Sirius.
> 
> tw: mentions of bullying and implied transphobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh this chapter is filled with shitty teen angst mmmmm
> 
> Hi! I really hope you like the fic so far, I had a lot o fun writing it! And I would also appreciate kudos and comments *wink wink*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iris knew she was mean.

She knew many things, believe it or not.

She knew she was scary. She knew everyone in Hogwarts hated her. But you know what she said to that? Too fucking bad.

Iris prided herself on being rejected. If they were going to reject her, then it was their problem that she embraced it.

She adores being disruptive and throwing tantrums. She loved looking like an absolute slut, just to piss off anyone who she denies. She loved the way they feared her, and the way she took her life back after years and years of bullying. She was _infatuated_ with it.

But after a while, being unique got lonely.

At a certain age, she realized she could fill that whole for a little while each day. You know, the age where kids think they're adults so they talk about sex like they know what it is? But if you actually have sex you'll be a whore? She didn't mind being labeled a whore, she already was one.

So she thought, _What the hell? What could go wrong?_

After just the first time, she already figured out that sex wasn't for her. It was for whoever she allowed in. She got no mental pleasure, sure there was physical pleasure, but she didn't feel safe. She didn't feel loved, she never felt _loved_.

It was just for someone to say that they had tamed the wild beast for a night. Of course, when that was said, Iris would kick the shit out of them.

_There will be no taming of this shrew._

Oh, and she also knew she was omnisexual. That was quite the easy solution to come to.

Iris knew a lot, but she didn't know what, or rather who, was about to change her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, shit.

For whatever fucked up reason, Sirius agreed to the bet.

In all honesty, it was probably because both James and Peter had bet 15 galleons on it.

So now, he had to fuck … _her_.

He was petrified.

And no, not because she was a “dIfFiCuLt wOmAn”.

He was gay, for fuck sake, he loved strong women.

No, no, he was scared because he was a complete fucking asshat.

6 whole years of cruel (and honestly, hilarious) pranks on Slytherins and not once could he justify any of them on her.

She was _muggle born_ for hell’s sake! He couldn't try and make himself feel better by saying, “Well, all of them are blood supremacist, so they can go fuck themselves!” No! She was 100% against them! Everything The Marauders did to her was totally unjustified!

It was a similar situation with Regulus…

He knew the way they treated him, and the way they shamed him for even being _related_ to Sirius, the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black family reject. 

In that way, Sirius thought that he and Iris were quite similar.

Rejected.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius found Iris, skipping a class. 

Damn, they really were similar weren't they?

She was sitting in the courtyard, staring off into space. 

_Holy shit is this really happening?_

Now, Sirius was a very chill guy. He could talk his way out of anything and was always the life of the party.

But all of the guilt that built up in him, all of the pranks, he felt terrible.

He was hoping that this whole thing would be a big failure, for his guilt and maybe even use this as a way to finally come out to his friends.

He wanted to for a while, but when this entire fiasco began, he found that he just never had the time (or the balls).

He went through the motions, he walked up to her from behind, trying to be as calm as possible. He didn't want to scare her into hitting him. (Phase 1: flirt)

He leaned up against the post she was leaning on, and swallowed all his guilt and pride.

“Don't let Slughorn catch you out of class.” He grinned. For whatever reason, he was _really_ good at flirting. It's why he hasn't lost a single bet with James and Peter yet.

She looked startled, almost scared at first, but that quickly faded. “That's ok, if I get detention , I can always suck his dick to get me out of it.” Iris bit back, sarcastically. Almost immediately, Sirius realized she was deflecting, using a figurative shield of sarcasm and bite to scare him off.

It wasn't going to work. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one with his wand. “Want one?”

“No thanks, I’d like to keep my lungs.”

She stopped, and started fidgeting with her wand. She looked strangely nervous, but then asked, “Hey, aren't you Sirius Black? You and your friends play all those stupid pranks, right?”

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

Sirius disguised his anxiety with a drag of his cigarette, then decided he might as well lie.

“The one and only, baby.” He said as he sat down in front of her.

He could see the heat growing in her face, she looked like she could kill. He knew what was coming, which somehow made it worse.

“You fuckers suck! What did I ever do to deserve to be locked out of my classes once a week? Or have my textbooks spelled shut, or have snakes coming out of the faucets?!”

_Don't laugh, don't laugh, for fuck sake, don't laugh!_

“You’re a Slytherin, love.” Sirius said, trying to maintain the cool guy facade. “You guys are blood supremacists, it's a little deserved.”

So this is where he was going with it. He would just lie, and play dumb, pretend he didn't know she was muggle born.

“My parents are muggle hippies, you really think _I_ would be a fucking bigot? I hate those assholes.” 

“Oh, gods, I’m so sorry.” Phase 2: Connect emotionally. 

Iris looked almost surprised, like no one has ever treated her with remorse. 

“I never thought that someone as strong willed and as kind as you, would be put with them.”

“What are you playing at, Black?” She eyed him suspiciously.

“Nothing, nothing at all.” He put his hands up in semi-mock defense. “I just want to apologize for treating you unfairly.”

“My own personal code of conduct states that I should kick the shit out of you right now.”

He froze. He _really_ didn't want that. Imagine going back to Wormtail and Prongs, not only losing the bet, but getting bitch slapped too? 

“But that wouldn't solve my issue.”

_Oh, thank Merlin!_

“What's your issue and what would solve it?” He asked, cheekily.

“What? Are you the white knight that's come to save me?” She batted her eyes sarcastically.

“Only if you want me to be.”

She scoffed like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.

“Oh, please. You just wanna get me into bed.” She looked genuinely disappointed, like this happened a lot.

“No, I would never-”

“You're fucking lying and you know it!” She spit back harshly, not even letting him finish the lie.

For whatever reason, he decides to fight back. “Even if I was, you wouldn't care. Everyone knows you’d fuck anyone!”

Damn the Gryffindor in him.

He saw the anger growing in her quickly. This was not going according to plan.

“I’m sorry.” He was just vomiting out an apology now. No actual meaning behind it, he just didn't want to be killed. “I didn't mean it, I swear, I just- You know, I think it's wonderful that you have authority over your body-”

He was stopped by one of the most shocking things he'd seen today. She was _laughing_. Right in his face.

“You want to fuck me but you're still afraid of me?” She said between gasps for air, still laughing her ass off.

He didn't know if he should be offended or afraid.

“Why are you like this!?!” Again, he spoke without thinking.

Iris stops. She glares at him for a while, sizing him up. Finally, she speaks, “Have you ever been to the Slytherin common room?”

He shakes his head no, opting not to speak and make her even more angry.

“It's like a haunted house down there. The tension in that room is like having elephants stomp on your neck. It’s like a thousand eyes on you, constantly watching to see when you break.”

Instead of coming off as intimidating, for the first time in their interaction, she looked vulnerable.

“It's being afraid to breathe, to be ridiculed for every little thing. It’s like a cult, and one wrong move, they'll burn you for blasphemy.”

Her breath was getting shaky.

“Except as soon as I walked in, they could tell I was the very thing they loathed the most-”

Iris cut herself off. She was on the verge of crying now.

Without thinking, he gently takes hold of her hands, which were oddly cold for late September. Her eyes were wet with tears, she hesitates, then for the first time since before Sirius knew her, she brings down her shield:

“They laughed at me.”

It was barely a whisper.

“They called me mudblood.”

She continued.

“They called me crybaby.”

With that, her tears came streaming down her face, as she bit her lip to hold back sobs.

“Don't cry, it's alright.” He really didn't expect this so he was kinda losing his cool. Sirius didn't really know how to handle crying women, and he _really_ didn't expect Iris of all people to cry in front of anyone. But here he was, skipping class, failing to comfort a crying girl to win a stupid bet.

She quickly wiped away her tears (apparently she did have objections to crying in front of basically a stranger). 

“Whatever it's not like you care anyways. Why the hell are you even talking to me?” Her voice was groggy from crying.

“Of course I care about you,” For Sirius it was an attempt to dodge the question, but Iris looked at him in disbelief. 

_Fuck, ok, this is happening._ He leaned in to kiss her, and to his surprise, she kissed him first. 

For Sirius, he felt no spark, no yearning for more. She was a pretty good kisser, all said and done. But he could never get into snogging girls.

Sure, he would often be caught snogging girls in dark hallways after hours. But he didn't want to kiss _girls_.

He used to just think _If only I could find the right girl_. They were never any feelings of actual want. He actually just wanted it to be over. 

In fourth year though, he came to the conclusion that snogging _boys_ was much more enjoyable.

But that's a story for another time.

A terrifying thought moved over him. _What if she likes this? What if for her, there is a spark?_

His did not want a fucking bet to break her heart, obviously she was already fragile!

Sirius began to think they were even more alike.

The kiss ended quickly, as if Sirius would poison her if she stayed too long.

“Don't tell _anyone_ about this.” She said strictly, and quickly ran off.

And just like that, the shield was back up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry don’t cry!_

Visby was just going back to their dorm to get their book, when they had to witness their heart being stomped to bits!

They had to watch Sirius Black kiss _her_. Iris, the girl Visby has had a crush on since before they knew they were queer, for fuck sake.

 _“Of course I care about you.”_

The words stung, and never dared leave their head, it's all they could hear.

Visby already knew Iris would never _ever_ see them that way. It just hurt to see it confirmed.

It’s not that she kissed him, it's that she _cried._ She opened up to him! 

They should have seen it coming, actually. The two coolest people in school would of course fall for one another. They were so stupid to ever think they could have a chance. Hell, they couldn't even have a full conversation with her! 

Holding back tears, they ran back to class.

_Back to being someone you're not._

_Back to being Claire._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW the twist was *transness* anyway that's the end of chapter 2
> 
> I really hope you guys like Visby and Iris, there's more of them on the way!
> 
> Kudos and comments are godly.


	3. Ancient Runes Was Everyone's Favorite Class Before This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius asks Iris out.
> 
> Visby has to watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this chapter included a REALLY shitty poem so just skip that part please. thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No, no, **no, NOOO!**

There was absolutely NO way in hell Iris, Goddess of Destruction, (look it up it's true) was going to let some **_boy_ ** crack her open like an egg and snoop around her psych!

She won't open up, she just **won't**.

Really should just get to her next class, Ancient Ruins.

Her favorite class, where she learned about beautiful, powerful women who were the first to control their magic.

_Happy place._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus was _very_ excited for his next class, he always was. 

Ancient Ruins was the only class he had just him and Sirius, so he made it count.

“Sooo any updates on the bet?” Ugh, of course Wormtail had followed them, and for good measure, he brought James.

_Great._

“Well…” Sirius stopped himself. He seemed nervous, which never happened when it came to girls. 

“What is it, Padfoot?” James asked innocently, he was often oblivious to social cues.

“I- Er, well, she kissed me, actually.” This was usually more celebrated, he was not going to forfeit the bet. But Sirius looked uncomfortable, like he knew something was wrong. Maybe Iris _was_ too intense for him.

“And why are you acting like this is a bad thing?” Peter inquired.

“I think maybe this game is a little mean.” 

_Yes! Exactly! I've been saying that the whole time!_

“But Pads…” James groaned, then he looked shocked, “Does this mean you're out of the bet?”

“No fucking way! I started this game, I chose when to end it, and it won't stop now.”

_Dammit. I was this fucking close._

Peter stopped for a moment, thought and then said, “I think Sirius has a crush on her.”

And just like that, Remus’ heart shattered for the millionth time. He knew Sirius would never love him back, but for someone else to have him? He couldn't handle that.

“UGH- No!!” Sirius looked genuinely offended. 

_Ok, there may be a little bit of hope._

“I just think that she isn't really …stable…” He continued.

“Obviously.” Peter quipped.

While Prongs chuckled, Sirius seemed to be getting more and more frustrated. “She just seems more fragile than any other girl in this game.”

“Who cares?” Peter snapped this time.

“I do.” Remus finally felt confident enough to speak up in this conversation. “She's a person, even if she's scary or mental.”

“I’m not scared of her!” Peter lied through his teeth.

“Yeah right, and Lily Evans doesn't hate my guts.” James added sarcastically, “Come Wormy, let's get to class.”

_Finally._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Fuck._

Just as Sirius entered the room, who was sitting there?

 _She_ was. He couldn't believe he’d been so stupid to forget that Iris was in this class too. 

And she already saw him. _Fuck._

She glared at him, threateningly, but quickly turned back to the front of the room.

He had to complete the bet.

He sat down with Remus in the back of the class, grabbed a parchment and a quill and got to work.

“Whatcha doing their Padfoot?”

Remus asked, he looked nervous. Sirius knew it made him uncomfortable, the game. But he _couldn't_ forfeit the bet. 

“It's kinda embarrassing,” He really didn't want Remus to hate him more than he already did, but frankly, this will probably be one if the most humiliating things he'll ever do. At least it is as bad and the consequences for forfeiting a bet.

“You can tell me, I promise I won't tell Peter.” 

He leaned in, to very _very_ quietly tell Remus, “I'm writing a poem.”

“For Iris?” He whispered back. Remus looked disgusted,“You have no morals.” He said disapproving.

“Life's more fun that way.” He winked at him, and Remus tried and failed to hide his blush.

“Good afternoon, everyone.” The timid professor caught everyone's attention and class began.

The poem was _very_ bad. Awful. Absolutely shitty. There was no way she would agree to this.

_Iris is the color in every eye,_

_Iris is the Goddess of Destruction and the maker of Discord,_

_A pretty face that started a war,_

_Could only be you._

_Iris like the flowers in Greenhouse 3,_

_At midnight will you meet me?_

“You disgust me.”

“Remus, you know the rules. I can't forfeit, she can say no and it's over.”

Remus sighed, he knew the rules. Those were his rules.

To prevent anything terribly drastic happening, Remus made the rules of the game:

  * To win the bet is to gain consent for sex from whoever was agreed on. *If consent is taken away from either party after the initial ‘yes’, the bet is still won, unless either party continues to pursue the other, in which case, there will be real world consequences.
  * To lose the bet is to not gain consent from the agreed upon subject **If you continue pursuing her after consent has been denied, you will suffer really world consequences.
  * To forfeit the bet is to stop pursuing entirely before consent is given or denied. ***The consequences of forfeiting are extreme, proceed with caution.



“Ok.” Remus says, as if giving him permission.

With that, Sirius charmed the paper to fold up and slither its way to her. Only afterwards, he realized that she probably had a shit ton of trauma related to snakes.

It made its way over, without being noticed by their professor. 

Sirius was now starting to worry that Iris would hate him even more now. And the fact that she was objectively the scariest person in Hogwarts, didn't help.

Without drawing too much attention to himself, Sirius turn to watch her read the stupid fucking poem.

Her race was unreadable. She folded the paper up, without a second thought, and put it in a page of her Ancient Ruins book.

Just then, she caught his eye, smirked, and nodded her head a slight ‘yes’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like always, they watched.

They watched Sirius as he sent Iris a piece of parchment from across the room.

Professor Lovelace didn't notice, but Visby saw how she nodded back to him.

It could have been anything.

But something in them knew, it was regarding their kiss.

And they _watched._

It seems that's all they were good for. 

They watched as Iris moved ahead in her life, while they couldn't even come out.

If they did, it would probably kill them. It's one thing to be gay in the 70’s. It's a whole other story being trans. It's too risky.

Then there were the boys. The boys who would flirt with them, not realize it technically made them gay.

They would pretend not to notice to get them to leave them alone. All the while, wishing and dreaming to one day live peacefully away from heteronormativity with their wife.

Those thoughts led back to Iris.

Iris, who was with Sirius.

And Visby?

They had to watch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while i was really depressed
> 
> somebody please ask me what the consequences of forfeiting are
> 
> love y'all


End file.
